Amaya Pryce: writer & life coach
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Professional Student of Life

Adventures in personal growth

April: This 24 Hours

4/19/2018

5 Comments

 
Picture

​Writing [and life!] is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way. ~ E.L. Doctorow

When I’m going through a stressful experience, my first tendency is to project myself into the future, exploring all the possible outcomes and what I would do in each case. There’s a certain amount of comfort in this, but the trick is to learn when to stop! Once you have a basic sense of the possibilities, it’s time to pull back into the current moment or, as a friend of mine says: this 24 hours.
 
Right now I’m heading back to court with my ex-husband. The details aren’t really important, but the overall situation is one of financial uncertainty, acrimony and fear. My mind is having a heyday with this, imagining disastrous outcomes and trying to figure out and control what is patently uncontrollable. When I go down that rabbit hole, I feel instant anxiety, anger, panic, despair.
 
Not fun – and not even helpful. Those imagined things aren’t happening to me now, and might very well never happen. Even if they did, my distress right now won’t help me to deal with them in the future. That same friend once gave me a great visual touchstone for how to remain anchored to the present moment, even in the midst of uncertainty and fear.
 
She was on a motorcycle with her husband on the winding Blue Ridge Parkway (no guard rails, steep drop offs) when a thick fog and rain descended. With zero visibility, she was terrified that they would fly off the side of the mountain at any moment, and yet there was no safe place to stop and wait it out.  As they cautiously made their way down, she kept repeating to herself: Right now, in this moment, I’m safe. Right now, in this moment, I’m safe.
 
In reality, we never know what’s going to happen in the next moment - even when we think we do. We only ever know for sure about the moment we’re currently experiencing. Am I okay right now, in this moment? Yes, I am. Right now I have enough money to meet my needs. Right now I’m warm and safe and dry and well fed. I have some contingency plans in place as a sop to my mind’s most pressing fears (because I’m still human, after all).
 
Court cases can drag out for a long time. I don’t want to give away my happiness and peace of mind for the next several weeks or months, and so I pull my mind back, continually, to this 24 hours. What is happening right now? That’s all that I need to respond to, and all that I have a hope of influencing anyway. Just this 24 hours.
​
5 Comments
Nancy
4/20/2018 04:50:24 am

Dearest Amaya
My wish for you is that you grow stronger and truly realize how special you are as you go through this trying time. You are a breath of fresh air to all of us who you reach out to with your honest and heart felt blogs. I hope this time will pass quickly for you and that you will spread your wings and fly as you are meant to when all is said and done.
Love and light
Nancy

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John
4/20/2018 06:01:21 am

I accidentally ran across your blog after searching for answers shortly after the passing of my wife of 34 yrs. your experiences and heart felt emotions I can relate to, especially anxiety. Your mindset has helped me so much. I look forward to your earliest blog.

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Jenny link
4/20/2018 07:21:48 am

Amaya,
Sending love to you ❤️. Please keep me on your mailing list even if I miss your purging email.

Hugs,
Jenny

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mary
4/21/2018 12:36:45 pm

New to your site. I'm happy I found you. I like what I'm reading. Best of all to you as you go through these proceedings. Been there, done that but didn't do it well. Thank you.

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Vernetta Stewart
4/21/2018 02:50:21 pm

Yes, Amaya, I have focused and employed a version of the 24 hour I'm safe and fine, even down to the moment. I have lost a few family members (mom, two sisters, one of whom my best friend) in the past year or so, and when I start feeling very alone, I remind myself I am fine now, or I am safe today before the fears start escalating.
Consider visiting us at the yoga center one of these days. Blessings, Vernetta

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