Professional Student of Life
Adventures in personal growth
One of the most significant contributors to the level of happiness you experience is your life paradigm… [the] operating model for your life. ~ Domonique Bertolucci I’ve been thinking so much about happiness lately: what it is, what it means in the grand scheme of things and, especially, how to get more of it. I have so many of the ingredients of a happy life – health, friends, family, work that I enjoy, safety, money for essentials and even for fun – and yet I’m probably not as happy as I could (or should?) be under the circumstances. Why is that? On a fundamental level, it probably has a lot to do with the worldview, or paradigm, that I’ve been operating under for most of my life. It goes something like this: Life isn’t supposed to be happy – we’re here to grow, and growth happens most when we experience difficulties. People who are lucky and happy are the exception, and that will never happen to me. I have to work hard and control everything/everyone around me in order to be okay. Something is always missing – I never get to have what I really want (because that is asking too much). With this worldview, I’m predisposed to focus on what’s missing, what needs to be done, what could go wrong, etc. Even at the best of times, I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop and working hard to prevent it. It’s not a very relaxing way to live! There’s always something that I’m waiting and wishing for in order to truly be happy. The underlying reality beneath this paradigm is a feeling of unworthiness: that I don’t really deserve to be happy or to get what I want. Our original paradigms, because they develop gradually from a very young age, can be hard to detect – like the water a fish swims in. To find out what yours is, think about how you would answer these questions: What is life all about (or, what is it like)? What is my role in it? What always happens to me? What can I expect from life? Fortunately, our paradigms are not set in stone. I can choose a different worldview, and gradually adopt behaviors that go with it. This is what I am choosing to believe instead: I am safe and taken care of in every moment. I don’t have to struggle or make anything happen (even my own growth), or do anything at all in order to deserve happiness. Happiness and love are available to me all the time, in every circumstance. Everything is unfolding exactly the way it should, so I can relax and trust that all is well just as it is. Of course, in order for the new paradigm to become more than just a bunch of empty words, the sense of unworthiness that lives beneath and supports my old paradigm must be healed. Fortunately, I believe that healing automatically follows on the heels of awareness and willingness. (Again, I don’t have to make it happen!) Once we become aware of the worldview that controls us, and willing to change it, the healing process has already begun.
7 Comments
Regan Morris
8/18/2018 02:14:41 am
Thank you Amaya! The universe is always talking to me and this article is one more nugget that is leading me to a large change in my life. It requires letting go of the remaining nuggets of my family creed of work life and a leap of faith that God's got this! Your writing is a gift!
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Amaya
8/18/2018 06:23:07 am
Regan, what a joy to hear from you! Blessings on your journey of releasing, releasing, releasing. As Shahn puts it: clearing the dust bunnies out from under the bed. :)
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Tiffany
8/18/2018 02:57:08 am
this is exactly where I have been for past 6mths.. shifting my paradigm.. AND realizing.. I have all the tools I need to heal myself.. no more going to healers every week and spending way to much money on things that are in my control. (that said, some are good for sure. but it can become an addiction I believe.. the need to be healed)
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Amaya
8/18/2018 06:30:32 am
Yes! I got to the same place too of realizing that I already have everything I need to heal within myself. And that it is not that hard to do - we only have to be aware of the problem and sincerely willing to change for it to happen. I too was very "addicted" to seeking advice and training outside of myself. There is much to be gained, and I'm grateful for all that I learned, but I now know that I don't HAVE to go that route in order to heal. I have much more faith in the journey of life itself. xo
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Alison
8/18/2018 07:40:19 am
Nicely put Amy...Im here too! Really feeling rooted in the knowledge finally that I am enough just as I am and feeling content and grateful for the “happiness” and abundance I already enjoy. It’s been a journey but I experienced much of the same with healing. There’s a time to apply it all and become one’s own guru! 🙏😘I hope to see you again soon!
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Jake
8/20/2018 09:01:13 am
This helped me remember exactly what I needed to give me a boost. I guess your Intuition Webinar is paying off. It is always positive to live in the moment and find the positive things. Happiness is right in front of us, if we have the mind to seek it out. Persevere even unto the end.
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Vernetta
8/20/2018 01:46:11 pm
I believe what you stated is often true. It brought to mind our third World citizens and how perhaps, they don't have basics yet met so how can they think about feelings of unworthiness, and happiness? (A rhetorical question, I'm sure)
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